Swirling in Comparison

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Yesterday as I thought about starting to write more seriously again, I allowed my mind to enter into dangerous waters.  The swirling waters of comparison.  The voice of defeat was deafening within. Who am I to think I can write? What do I have to say that hasn’t been said already?  And said well at that. 

In a matter of minutes, my internal dialogue had spiraled so far downward that I convinced myself I’m not actually a writer.  That I’m not really anything.

Enter stage left: meet comparison at it’s finest.  Such and such a friend is an amazing runner.  One friend is an amazing mother – patient beyond belief.  Another is an amazing spiritual mentor.  Yet another friend has a career made of dreams.

My mind had taken an absolute nose dive.  I suddenly felt worthless and not enough.  I told myself that if I were to fill out a resume for my life, I have nothing you can put on paper.

Ouch. Total defeat.

At that exact moment I whispered, Stop.  Just stop.  Jesus, speak truth to me.

He immediately reminded me that His love has nothing to do with accomplishments or achievements.  His love is separate from what I do or what I can write down on paper.  His love has nothing to do with the world’s standards or measurements – in fact, His standards are immeasurable.  His love isn’t contingent or changing.  In that moment, He was so good to remind me that His love is pouring over me just for being me.

“This is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:10

It is absolutely true that “comparison is the thief of joy.” Yesterday I was swirling in comparison.  Drowning in defeat.  I am so thankful that by simply whispering His powerful name, He set my mind free and my feet on solid ground in that very moment.

The truth for my heart today is this: God thinks I’m good enough just because He made me.

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