Dear Sweet Audi,
You made it. You made it through another week of ups and downs. And you did it with courage. And beauty.
Your health and physical pain overshadowed your week and threatened to jumble your thoughts and feelings about so much. But you went right back to trusting God in the midst of the unknown. That’s just brave.
The writing didn’t come easily this week, but you showed up anyway. You could have so easily let the fear of other’s opinions shut you down, but you didn’t. You let go of your perfectionism just a little bit more and shared your writing anyway. That’s a win sweet girl.
Can I tell you something you need to hear?
You are stronger than you realize as a mom. You are so hard on yourself and are so easily overrun with guilt about all the mess up moments. When you focus on all your past failings as a mom, that’s what steals the big screen of your story. The guilt has no place there… because it is not TRUTH… and there is a much more beautiful picture playing right in front of you. Don’t let it steal your joy of the very present unfolding.
You need to hear it… from yourself:
You are a good mom.
You had the kids on your own for four days (the first time in a while). You felt fearful you would fall apart like you remember doing a couple years ago when your husband travelled on the regular. But that was then. You love your kids fiercely. You are allowing God to beautify you. You handled the lows with grace (and lots and lots of breathing…). You recognized when you were tired and did things to care for yourself, as well as your kids.You didn’t just survive the stretch, but thrived. Your kids adore you and your love for them oozes out of their joy filled spirits.
Do you hear me?
Be free of any guilt or fear…You are a great mom.
I also know you were taken back when the tears flooded your eyes in a discussion about body image. It’s OK that your past eating disorder and body image insecurities can still strike a tender, tender cord.
It’s OK, really.
Actually. It’s beautiful.
You are not alone. So many women are hurting in this area. How important it is to feel your humanity and remember the ache of being so hurt and stuck and desperate. Don’t be afraid of your pain or your tears. It’s what connects you to others. Those tears and that tender cord to your heart might actually mean a way out for another girl.
And you are not alone in grappling with body changes after babies, or your desire for your husband to find you sexy in spite of those changes. What mama under the sun hasn’t felt any of that?
Repeat after me today: You are beautiful. You are enough. You are loved darling girl.
Always, always tenderly FOR you,